Patience, with a Side of Frustration

Imagine yourself ordering food at a restaurant and you choose to get something healthy off the menu, like a salad or a grilled meat that hasn't been fried to a crisp. You feel proud of yourself for making a healthy choice and contributing to a healthier you. However, before you give your menu back to the server, your eyes scan over the section of the menu that has ALL the delicious sides: mashed potatoes, french fries, onion rings, mac 'n cheese. You feel magnetically pulled to them and you can't seem to say no. Just a little piece of the unhealthy won't hurt, so you order the side.

The idea of ordering a healthy choice with a small piece of unhealthy on the side is how I felt this week while teaching my students. Before you get hungry on me, let me explain!

While it's the beginning of the school year, we've been in school for 21 days. At this point, there are certain expectations, procedures and routines that should be known by now. Yes, my students are 5 years old. Yes, some are brand new to any type of schooling. Yes, I'm aware that we must teach with grace and be patient with their journey. I get it! HOWEVER, I don't help myself by bottling up my frustration or denying that my students don't frustrate me.

This week I dealt with kids who heard me say over 50 times to not tip their chairs, and they proceeded to tip, fall over and get hurt on the ground. We've been studying numbers 1-10 for a few weeks now, and I still have a few kids that don't recognize the number 4. Every day we get in line for lunch and specials at a Level 0, but the past two days the "third times the charm" phrase has rung true in our room. Multiply that by 2 times a day, you get the gist. Also, don't even get me started on how this heat wave has kept us inside for recess all week. Full transparency, I've been frustrated this week!

My teacher brain has been screaming at me to be patient, and to remember that my students are young and that they're still figuring everything out. They're establishing a habit right now and their muscle memory is building. It's an optimistic approach and I highly encourage it! But, I'm also allowed to feel frustrated as a teacher and as a person. Just like my example of ordering healthy off a menu with a side of unhealthy, being frustrated while practicing patience isn't bad and it doesn't mean you're doing something wrong.

While I was reminding myself to be patient this week, I also reminded myself to feel frustrated when it was appropriate. Should I show that frustration in front of my students by raising my voice or complaining in front them? Probably not the best life choice, but I can definitely share how I'm feeling with them in a kind manner and explain what I should expect from them. I use a lot of "I...you" statements when talking to my kids about frustration. For example, I say, "I feel frustrated when you are told to be at a Level 0 and you continue to talk." I'm not lashing out at the child, I'm telling them how their behavior is affecting me. It creates a safe, learning environment to communicate how we are feeling about a situation, shares perspective from each side and helps students learn how to organize and process their own feelings and ideas. In a weird way, identifying how I'm feeling out loud to my students helps me process the frustration. Don't be afraid to try it yourself, whether that's with your own students or family and friends. There are studies on this, seriously!!

My point in all of this is that it's okay to get the fries. It's okay to order the onion rings, or the side of cheesy mac 'n cheese. It's okay to feel frustrated over what you're experiencing in the classroom. There are a lot of emotions that go through us on a daily basis, and we have a right to feel them. As teachers, we also have to deal with a lot of emotions that are not even our own! It doesn't make me a bad teacher, and it doesn't make you a bad teacher. It's doesn't mean you're not fit to teach and you should pursue another career path. It just means you're human, and while we want to show patience and understanding, we can feel a little frustration in the process.

Now, go order that healthy dish (if you want, no judgement if you don't), and don't be afraid to order that side of greasy goodness. I know I did last night!

~Kendall

Sharing Perspective. Encouraging Perseverance